“If you could see my inside, or whatever you want to name it, my spirit, that’s what I fear (that I am ruined). They kept trying to put me in the ground but I wasn’t ready. But if I had… if I had goodness, I lost it. If I had anything tender in me, I shot it dead! How could I write to you after what I’d done? What I’d seen? ” – W.P. Inman, Cold Mountain.

As a young woman, innocent of the experience of
warfare I have not physically been in such a position
to know what fighting in a combat situation (or the
training that asks: if you are ordered to kill another
human being, could you?) does to one’s soul. However
sharing intimacy with others who have experienced them
continues to open my reality to the challenges of
those experiences.

As a compassionate and empathic being, I feel
intensely the feelings of others. When I share time
with a client who has seen war, I am called to service
in many different ways.

Some of the conversations I hear inside a person
are… “How can I live my life again after what I have
done? After what I have seen, what I have been part
of? How do I live this life while often remembering
the past and what was? How can I forgive myself?”

One of the important ways I am called to service is
compassion. Being present with another human being.
Holding them as they are. Creating a safe and open
space where they can open up their deeply buried
feelings and let them out in a sacred container. A
container of love, embrace, and acceptance. We hold
our emotions in our bodies. If we have fears, anger,
sorrow (any emotion) and do not express it, and let it
out it will not go away. Pushing it under the
proverbial rug will give you a little breathing room,
but if these parts of us are not felt and expressed as
they are ment to be, they create disharmony and
eventually illness. (Carolyn Myss talks a lot about
this in Anatomy of the Spirit, her book)

Another important aspect of service can be the sharing
of tactile pleasures. Our skin is the largest organ of
our body. To reconnect with our pleasure confronts the
images of war trapped in our psychies . The feminine
receptivity and allowing of our physical and emotional
well being counteracts the aggression and
unquestioning strength that is needed for a chain of
command.

I honor the bravery and courage of those who have
served. I honor those who have chosen to seek their
healing and integration of their experiences. I am
honored to have shared some amazing sessions with
Veterans. Thank you for the courage to follow your
heart and continue the healing process.

Love,

Kris Ellen

Just some more information I found that might be
useful for those seeking answers to these kinds of
questions.

There are five ways that the war veterans I have
met are troubled by their wartime experiences. These
include:

Bodily pain from war wounds may persist long after
the medical team has done everything they can. Phantom
limb pain in amputees is just one of many examples of
the physical residues of pain that can continue for
years after the injury.

Terror from wartime experiences can be locked in
the subconscious mind and manifest as nightmares,
night terrors, excessive startle reactions, physical
pain and tension, generalized anxiety, severe
relationship problems, and phobic reactions.

Guilt over the things one did in wartime haunts
the survivors of every war. This guilt is especially
serious in every case I’ve seen from the Vietnam War
because of the moral ambiguity of that conflict. A
similar moral ambiguity is now surfacing in Iraq.

Physical illnesses caused by exposure to WMDs
(weapons of mass destruction) are a major problem for
veterans of modern wars.

Drug and alcohol addiction. Because of all the
pain, physical and emotional, suffered by veterans,
drug and alcohol addiction are a major epidemic among
America’s war veterans.

Healing is possible. Safe and lucid journey.