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	<title>Kris Ellen &#187; Sex Coach</title>
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	<link>http://wickedpxy.com</link>
	<description>Kris Ellen, Professional Sensualist</description>
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		<title>Bay Area sessions</title>
		<link>http://wickedpxy.com/archives/283</link>
		<comments>http://wickedpxy.com/archives/283#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 09 Jun 2010 21:52:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>KrisEllen</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Professional Sensualist]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sex Coach]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Travel]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bay Area]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[San Francisco]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sessions]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://wickedpxy.com/?p=283</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Greetings dear Sensualists,
It has been an amazing Spring travel season for this big hearted being. I have traveled over 2500 miles in one month, and Spirit is sharing with me that it is time to stick closer to home for a little while. I am happy to share that I will be moving deeper into [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Greetings dear Sensualists,</p>
<p>It has been an amazing Spring travel season for this big hearted being. I have traveled over 2500 miles in one month, and Spirit is sharing with me that it is time to stick closer to home for a little while. I am happy to share that I will be moving deeper into the Bay area community both with my work, and my personal connections.</p>
<p>If you are visiting the San Francisco bay area and desire to explore your Sensual depth, please send me a email or give me a call. I am honored to facilitate amazing Sensualist sessions, Sensual Domination as well as Touch and Intimacy coaching.</p>
<p>I bring depth, intimacy and authentic pleasures to all that I do. This work is an amazing blessing to which my heart beats true. I invite you to join me here, in this sacred space to explore what that looks like in your world.</p>
<p>If you have specific challenges in the Sensual realm, I would love to share with you the tools to live a enjoyable and authentic life. You are worth it! Only you can make the choice, to create the opportunity for growth in your own life. Please check out my Coaching contract for the rights and responsibilities I hold sacred in my practice.</p>
<p>For more information and to schedule your session, please call me at 707-845-3076.</p>
<p>I look forward to hearing from you.</p>
<p>Blessings,</p>
<p>Kris Ellen</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Southern California visit, Southwestern tour</title>
		<link>http://wickedpxy.com/archives/267</link>
		<comments>http://wickedpxy.com/archives/267#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 18 Apr 2010 22:44:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>KrisEllen</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Body Awareness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Couples]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Cuddle Party]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Goddess Sacred Spot]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Healing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Holistic Healing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Male Sacred Spot]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Professional Sensualist]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ritual]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sacred Sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sex Coach]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sexual Mystic]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tantra]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Touch]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Travel]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[classes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bodywork]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[LA]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Phoenix]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Phoenix Goddess Temple]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sedona]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sensualist sessions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sex and Intimacy Coaching]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Soutern California]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Utah]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://wickedpxy.com/?p=267</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Greetings Sensualists,
As spring grows in fullness, this season again finds me ready and excited to travel to the annual Sedona Conference of Sex and Consciousness  Educators. This year I will be presenting a perspective on celibacy in the polyamourious community. On my journey down into Arizona I have availability to create some time with [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Greetings Sensualists,</p>
<p>As spring grows in fullness, this season again finds me ready and excited to travel to the annual <span>Sedona Conference of Sex and Consciousness  Educators. This year I will be presenting a perspective on celibacy in the polyamourious community. On my journey down into Arizona I have availability to create some time with you!<br />
</span></p>
<p><span><em>These dates are flexible, and I look forward to co-creating a delicious session with you as works for both our schedules.</em><br />
</span></p>
<p><span>I am available in Southern CA April 30th-May 3rd. May 1st I will be celebrating Beltane with some beautiful, sacred  ceremonies in </span>Laguna Beach. <span><br />
</span></p>
<p><span>I am available in Phoenix May 4th and 5th, and May 12-16th. <strong>May 15th</strong> I am excited to share my first review C<strong>uddle Party! </strong>Come out and join in the frolic. Tickets are $30 at the door, or are available online. </span></p>
<p><span>If you are in Utah I am looking at creating a travel plans which includes your beautiful state. Please contact me for more information.</span></p>
<p>Sensualist sessions, Coaching appointments and educational events are all available.</p>
<p>I look forward to sharing these amazing Sacred Arts with you.</p>
<p>Blessings,</p>
<p>Kris Ellen</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Prostate Health and Awareness</title>
		<link>http://wickedpxy.com/archives/166</link>
		<comments>http://wickedpxy.com/archives/166#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 14 Jan 2010 18:25:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>KrisEllen</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Body Awareness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Healing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Holistic Healing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Male Sacred Spot]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sex Coach]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[classes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[awareness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[choices]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[prostate]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sexual health]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://wickedpxy.com/?p=166</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Out of Sight, Out of Mind. Unfortunately for this important little body part, like many things, just because you ignore it, it does NOT go away.
As our human lifespan has lengthened with medical advancements, and cultural changes we are increasingly faced with the fact that our bodies grow older, and change. What once worked effortlessly, [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Out of Sight, Out of Mind. Unfortunately for this important little body part, like many things, just because you ignore it, it does NOT go away.</p>
<p>As our human lifespan has lengthened with medical advancements, and cultural changes we are increasingly faced with the fact that our bodies grow older, and change. What once worked effortlessly, becomes a source of concern. Our bodies change, and part of honoring the cycles of life is to honor that change.</p>
<p>For the prostate, which does a wonderful job of providing additional liquid to the male ejaculate, by the age of 40 noticeable change is happening for many men. It has been shown that BHP (Benign Prostate Hyperplasia (BHP) is a condition where the prostate enlarges, but does not lead to cancer, affects more than half of all men over the age of 40, and 60% of all men over the age of 50. The percentages just keep going up after that.</p>
<p>This condition is not cancerous, it is nonetheless associated with sexual dysfunction and difficulty in urination.</p>
<p>Another Prostate challenge to be aware of is Prostatitis.  The inflammation or infection of the prostate gland. The symptoms are uncomfortable at best; more often they are extremely painful and can also be dangerous. Symptoms include pain and swelling in the prostate, fever, chills, pain in the lower back, burning or painful urination, a need to urinate frequently during the night, dribbling, fatigue and body aches, and pain with ejaculation. Unlike benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH) often referred to as simply &#8220;an enlarged prostate,&#8221; prostatitis can strike any male, young or old. Prostatitis can be either acute or chronic, bacterial or nonbacterial.</p>
<p>Informed choice and attention to this important part of the male anatomy may be the best solution to avoiding painful, and more serious medial conditions in the future.</p>
<p>When we take time to investigate the many natural healing choices for the prostate we see that there is evidence of being able to alter the course of our physical well being. For those men who have not yet had to face the possibility of prostate challenges, it is never to late to begin to eat healthier, take preventative steps and address this important part of our human journey.</p>
<p>Let us have a open and honest conversation about the body, and body functions. This is our health we are holding in our hands.</p>
<p>I am inspired to shine light on this topic, as it touches all of our lives. Men, women, families. No matter what your gender, or your age, this important information may help reduce the future pain in a loved ones life. Please women: talk to your men about the prostate. Support each other in your sensual journey.</p>
<p>IF YOU ANSWER YES TO JUST ONE OF THESE QUESTIONS, IT IS LIKELY YOU HAVE A PROSTATE PROBLEM AND SHOULD SEE A TRAINED MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL OR SEEK TREATMENT.</p>
<p>Do you get up more than once or twice a night to urinate?<br />
Do you often have sudden, uncontrollable urges to urinate?<br />
Do you have a frequent need to urinate?<br />
Is your urine stream slow or dribbling?<br />
Do you sometimes need to urinate, but are unable to?<br />
Do you experience burning or pain when you are urinating?<br />
Do you have blood in your urine?<br />
Do you have pain in your lower back, pelvis or upper thighs?<br />
Are you experiencing reduced sexual ability, painful orgasm, impotence?<br />
Are you feeling discomfort during intercourse?</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Newsletter birth!</title>
		<link>http://wickedpxy.com/archives/162</link>
		<comments>http://wickedpxy.com/archives/162#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 12 Jan 2010 02:32:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>KrisEllen</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Blogroll]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Miscellaneous]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Professional Sensualist]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sex Coach]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[creativity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[newsletter]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[taboo]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[toys]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://wickedpxy.com/?p=162</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Dear Friends,
I am excited to share that I am looking at creating a  newsletter!
This form of contact will help communicate the wonderful passion I have for Sensuality and  Human connection. In this quarterly publication, I look forward to sharing: Articles, Polls, Toy and Product reviews (A view from the Toy Chest), a very edgy space [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Dear Friends,</p>
<p>I am excited to share that I am looking at creating a  newsletter!</p>
<p>This form of contact will help communicate the wonderful passion I have for Sensuality and  Human connection. In this quarterly publication, I look forward to sharing: Articles, Polls, Toy and Product reviews (A view from the Toy Chest), a very edgy space called Pandora&#8217;s Box (which will ask difficult questions  and hopefully shine a beautiful, caring light on many forms of Sexuality), as well as tips and treats.</p>
<p>I hope to have click through box here on the site soon, but until I do please email me if you are interested in joining my mailing list!</p>
<p>My email is:  sensualnymph@gmail.com</p>
<p>I look forward to hearing from YOU!</p>
<p>Blessings, Kris Ellen</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Holding space for the Divine in many forms</title>
		<link>http://wickedpxy.com/archives/128</link>
		<comments>http://wickedpxy.com/archives/128#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 31 Dec 2009 00:50:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>KrisEllen</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Ritual]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sacred Sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sex Coach]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sexual Mystic]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tantra]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Unique sessions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[adults]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[choice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[consentual]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sessions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[taboo]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[unique]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://wickedpxy.com/?p=128</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<blockquote>Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I’ll meet you there.</blockquote>
]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<blockquote><p>Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there. Rumi</p></blockquote>
<p>What is &#8220;wrong&#8221; and what is &#8220;right&#8221;? How do we as human beings create our complex understanding of social guidelines, and heritage?</p>
<p>In my experience, our communal consciousness is very powerful. From the moment we are born into this world, we are bombarded with instructions. Be this. Act this way. Do or do not do that.<br />
At times when individuals, or small groups feel inside themselves that a particular set of guidelines does not resonate with them they take a step away from what the majority of people accept as &#8220;the way to be&#8221;.</p>
<p>I have had the honor and calling in this life to explore &#8220;alternative&#8221; Relationship structures, power dynamics, personal definitions and agreements. My internal Integrity guides me as a Spiritual being, held in the context of a community. That community is part of a greater community, a Nation, and the planet Earth.</p>
<p>Once in awhile, I am called by the Divine to look beyond the familiar. To have a internal dialogue within my Self about &#8220;who am I in Relationship to this facet of the Divine&#8221;? In this common ground, and our own personal boundaries we are empowered to share Sacred space. With the Intent to consciously explore this Divine Experience. Oh what places this rabbit hole goes&#8230;</p>
<p>I am dazzled by the deepening Mystery of this exploration. To honor the Divine by holding each other Sacred. To honor choice gives us each the Responsibility to create our world in the image of Love. What Love looks like, has many beautiful faces.</p>
<p>My preference is to create consensual, conscious, alternative Life choices&#8230;I resonate with those who seek to share these in celebration and joy. I Love you. I respect your courage to seek that which resonates in your Soul, in your Body and in your Mind: to find others who share that vision. You are safe here. You are held. You are beautiful.</p>
<p>Welcome to the Temple. Harm ye none. Know yourSelf in Love and be Blessed.</p>
<p>Happy New Year!</p>
<p>Kris Ellen</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<item>
		<title>Travel and Gypsy Sensualist!</title>
		<link>http://wickedpxy.com/archives/80</link>
		<comments>http://wickedpxy.com/archives/80#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 15 Sep 2009 00:15:41 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>KrisEllen</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Body Awareness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Couples]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Healing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Holistic Healing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Professional Sensualist]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sacred Sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sex Coach]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Travel]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[classes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Phoenix Goddess Temple]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[schedule]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://wickedpxy.com/archives/80</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Dear Sensualists&#8230;
Such amazing adventures are afoot! I am honored to share delicious sensualist experiences with seekers far and wide.  I am currently in the Central Valley of CA close to Sacramento. I will be making various trips over to the Bay Area untill October 15th when I leave for Arizona!
Oct. 19-25 I will be in [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Dear Sensualists&#8230;</p>
<p>Such amazing adventures are afoot! I am honored to share delicious sensualist experiences with seekers far and wide.  I am currently in the Central Valley of CA close to Sacramento. I will be making various trips over to the Bay Area untill October 15th when I leave for Arizona!</p>
<p>Oct. 19-25 I will be in Sedona AZ. And then I will be heading to Phoenix!</p>
<p>After the 26th of October I will be serving at the Phoenix Goddess Temple for sometime. Please visit their website at http://phoenixgoddesstemple.org/</p>
<p>If you have any questions or invitations, please give me a call at 707-845-3076.</p>
<p>I look forward to connecting with you!</p>
<p>Blessings,</p>
<p>Kris Ellen</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>New oppertunities, Travel and the Sensualist Temple Tour.</title>
		<link>http://wickedpxy.com/archives/78</link>
		<comments>http://wickedpxy.com/archives/78#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 24 Aug 2009 22:35:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>KrisEllen</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Healing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Holistic Healing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Male Sacred Spot]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Professional Sensualist]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ritual]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sacred Sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sex Coach]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sexual Mystic]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tantra]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Touch]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Travel]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Unique sessions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[classes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[moving]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[new]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sacred]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sensualist]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sessions]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://wickedpxy.com/archives/78</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Greetings Friends,
I am excited to share that I will be moving out of Humboldt(for some time away)  and beyond the Redwood Curtain. If you are here in Humboldt and desire a sensualist experience please contact me. I will be creating opportunities to return and share sessions on specific dates.
If you are not in Humboldt and [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Greetings Friends,</p>
<p>I am excited to share that I will be moving out of Humboldt(for some time away)  and beyond the Redwood Curtain. If you are here in Humboldt and desire a sensualist experience please contact me. I will be creating opportunities to return and share sessions on specific dates.</p>
<p>If you are not in Humboldt and seek to share these luscious opportunities, I look forward to hearing from you too! My home base will be in the Central Valley near Sacramento. I shall be expanding my travels far and wide. Phoenix is calling me this Fall.</p>
<p>Who knows where else my my travel adventures will lead! I am open to the possibilities.</p>
<p>I look forward to hearing from you!</p>
<p>Blessings,</p>
<p>Kris Ellen</p>
<p>My cell phone # is: 707-845-3076</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Forward: &#8220;This is what a sexless marriage feels like&#8221; (a woman&#8217;s perspective)</title>
		<link>http://wickedpxy.com/archives/60</link>
		<comments>http://wickedpxy.com/archives/60#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 24 May 2009 20:44:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>KrisEllen</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Blogroll]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Body Awareness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Couples]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Goddess Sacred Spot]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Healing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Holistic Healing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Professional Sensualist]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sacred Sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sex Coach]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sexual Mystic]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tantra]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Touch]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[woman]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://wickedpxy.com/archives/60</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[From : Salon.com
This is What a Sexless Marriage Feels Like (http://open.salon.com//blog/and_yet/2009/05/11/this_is_what_a_sexless_marriage_feels_like)
This is What a Sexless Marriage Feels Like:
]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h2>From : Salon.com</h2>
<p>This is What a <span style="border-bottom: 1px dashed #0066cc; background: transparent none repeat scroll 0% 0%; cursor: pointer; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial" class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1243197692_2">Sexless Marriage</span> Feels Like (<a href="http://open.salon.com//blog/and_yet/2009/05/11/this_is_what_a_sexless_marriage_feels_like" target="_blank" onclick="pageTracker._trackPageview('/outgoing/open.salon.com//blog/and_yet/2009/05/11/this_is_what_a_sexless_marriage_feels_like?referer=');"><span class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1243197692_3">http://open.salon.com//blog/and_yet/2009/05/11/this_is_what_a_sexless_marriage_feels_like</span></a>)</p>
<p>This is What a Sexless Marriage Feels Like:</p>
<p><!-- <a class="myyahoo" href="http://add.my.yahoo.com/rss?url=" onclick="pageTracker._trackPageview('/outgoing/add.my.yahoo.com/rss?url=&amp;referer=');">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</a> &#8211;> <!-- <a class="buzzit" href="#">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</a> &#8211;></p>
<p><span style="float: left; margin-left: 5px; margin-right: 5px; text-align: right"><span style="font-family: verdana,sans-serif; font-size: 11px; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; line-height: 18px; text-transform: uppercase"></span><span></span> </span><span class="share" style="text-align: right"></span>This post is not about virtue. It is not an ask for sympathy. It attempts to explore what I&#8217;ve learned about sex and sexuality since sex ended within my long-term relationship. I won&#8217;t say much about why, because half of it is not my story to tell and I have no right. Just know that because of illness and after sharing a normal, monogamous, sexually active relationship for nearly a decade, my spouse suddenly lost the need, desire, and passion for sex.</p>
<p>When sex disappears like that, you don&#8217;t necessarily know it at the time. There&#8217;s no announcement. No resetting of hormones for each of you. No discussion that starts with, &#8220;I&#8217;m thinking I&#8217;ll never want to have sex again. Are you ok with this?&#8221;  It&#8217;s just gone. One day, perhaps months or years later, you realize that the last time you had sex together was the last time you’d <em>ever</em> have sex together.</p>
<p>As I’ve gone through these years without a sexual connection to my spouse, sexual desire did not fade within me. I still think about sex and long for it, I still dream about it, and fantasize. I do try to minimize overt exposure to what can make it harder. I don’t read the OS dirty haikus on Thursday and I never read sensual erotica. I look away during sex scenes in films. I no longer engage in “how’s your sex life” conversations with friends. And yet, even with these rules and a relationship devoid of sex, sex remains a part of my life, in my mind, in my dreams, and in my writing.</p>
<p>As I’ve gotten through these last eight years, I’ve thought a lot about sex, sexuality, and relationships. Here is some of what I’ve discovered:</p>
<p><strong>Sex is vital to a good life.</strong> What? You thought you knew that? So did I. I knew sex reduced my stress level, added to my joie de vivre, helped me sleep more soundly, and that it made the mornings after sweeter. I knew that dependable, good sex was very important, even imperative to a good life and relationship. Going without sex led me to understand its meaning even more: I understand how it nourishes and comforts, touches the soul, sustains our natural rhythms. All of that was happening before, so I never examined the ‘how or why”. Going without sex now, I can see how the lack of it upsets each of those things.</p>
<p><strong>Sex may not be a need like air, but it is needed.</strong> Yes, I can live without sex, I pretty much do, but I don’t live joyfully. It’s gotten harder, not easier to go without for so long. I need sex to live the life I wanted to live, to feel happiness to the potential I have within me, to carry me through life’s challenges and sorrows. I need sex like I need friends and conversation, like I need the sun and spring, like I need books and music. I need sex to make all of those things better, too. Some nights, sex is all I can think about. I ache to be desired and wanted, to give way to joy and abandon. There is no substitute for the moment when your lover reaches out for you with passion, or with love. Trust me on this, there is no substitute.</p>
<p><strong>Sex holds you together when everything else is pulling you apart. </strong>Another given, but think about it for a gentle moment. How many times has that tender caress, that kiss that lingers just a bit longer, that flirtatious glance made you feel closer, safer, connected, a couple, united? How often has it been the bridge from anger to forgiveness, from stressed to relaxed, from lonely to loved? It works. Sex does the job it is supposed to do, fusing you as a couple. Sharing sex means exposing vulnerability, intimacies of the heart and body. You know secrets about each other that are beyond naked and truer than fact, learned during uncensored moments of bliss. Honoring and protecting those secrets is a gift to each other.</p>
<p><strong>Sex makes me feel like a woman and nothing else really does. </strong>My career doesn&#8217;t do that for me. Spending time with friends doesn&#8217;t. Volunteering doesn’t. Wearing skirts and lingerie helps, but still&#8230;.  sex? Oh yes. That&#8217;s when I feel womanly and confident, aching to express my desire and eroticism, and ready to reveal the mysteries of my gender. Nothing else asks me to reach in and grasp the inner femaleness that flows so deep, that yearns to surface. Going without sex now, I sometimes feels less of who I am, less connected to my friends and other women, a little less relevant in the world. I feel distant from myself.</p>
<p><strong>Our sexuality continues to evolve over time, even after many years.</strong>  About five years into this, I realized something very new about my sexual desire, something I had not considered before. How could this be? I wasn’t in an active sexual relationship, I was making every attempt to de-sexualize myself, and suddenly a new sexual idea came to me begging to be explored and experienced. How unfair and cruel! This revelation thrilled, stunned and scared me. How and why this came to me during the sex-free years of my existence remain obscure to me, and yet there it is. Just another reminder that sexuality, that basic human drive, has a life of its own.</p>
<p><strong>Sex allows you to communicate in ways that you cannot replicate in any other way.</strong>   What you can do with your fingers, your mouth, your hips&#8230;. all those luscious areas of the body that allow for expression that can&#8217;t be articulated any other way. During sex you can whisper and tease and demand and beg with intonation and nuances that are not appropriate in any other setting. I miss this language so dearly and with such a vengeance that I have to continually monitor myself to be sure I don&#8217;t do it in the wrong setting.<span>  </span>I have to say, honestly, this is probably what I miss the most – the language of sex.</p>
<p><strong>Masturbation is nice.</strong> And I am a pro. I swear to all of you, none of you are better at this than I am. I always knew masturbation was nice, but before it was just a warm-up or a way to tide myself over between couple-sex events. Now it<span><span style="font-family: Georgia; color: black"> </span></span><em>is</em><span><span style="font-family: Georgia; color: black"> </span></span>sex.</p>
<p><strong>Masturbation gets to be very, very lonely. </strong>Not lonely enough to totally stop, but lonely enough that sometimes an orgasm from solo masturbation ends in tears and a feeling of profound solitude.</p>
<p><strong>Sex gives us some hope. </strong>Sex makes us hope, for more, for better, for different, for the same. During the good years, we had sex pretty regularly, as couples do. Thursday night? Always. Again on a weekend night and a weekend morning, even both weekend mornings. And then there was Tuesday, the bonus day. Tuesdays felt a little hopeful, a little romantic, a little sexy. I miss that feeling, wondering if it will be a ‘sex Tuesday’. I miss counting on sex on Thursday, and looking forward to weekend sex. Going without sex all the time adds a layer of drudgery to the week. Now it&#8217;s just work, time after work, and then sleep. Same thing tomorrow. Same thing next week, next month, and next year. Sex adds that soft glitter to the winter’s gray, a soothing balm to the end of a long work day, a benevolent barrier to the world outside.</p>
<p><strong>The less I had sex, the more I thought about it.</strong><span><strong><span style="font-family: Georgia; color: black"> </span></strong></span>During the first few years of this, I thought about sex all the time. There wasn&#8217;t a conference room table on which I didn&#8217;t imagine a lewd image during a business meeting. I couldn&#8217;t enter an elevator without seeing myself pressed against the wall by a lover and kissed passionately. When I traveled, hotel rooms kept me awake at night as I thought about all the options therein. I have consciously worked to mitigate those thoughts and that’s helped, but even that ‘success’ feels like a loss.</p>
<p><strong>Sex makes me love my body.</strong><span><strong><span style="font-family: Georgia; color: black"> </span></strong></span>Watching, feeling, hearing a lover take pleasure in my body and receive it from my touch, these feelings are inimitable. A lover’s certain touch affirms me emotionally and physically. Knowing that my body and my own touch produce exquisite gratification and joy tell me I am a sexy, sensual woman. I appreciate my body and am glad for it, but I ache to express and enjoy its sexual potential.</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: bold">Our sexuality is a gift of comfort and passion that we offer the world, an offer to sustain a love, to convey our essence from our soul</span>.</p>
<p>There is more to say, but even a non-sexual relationship deserves some privacy. Thank you for respecting that. Please remember these are just<span><span style="font-family: Georgia; color: black"> </span></span><em>my</em><span><span style="font-family: Georgia; color: black"> </span></span>lessons. They may be meaningless to others who face this, and to those of you who are sexually active. I honestly can&#8217;t predict what will resonate for anyone. I beg you not to tell me I am wrong, but to trust that this is what I think and feel.</p>
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		<title>A new experience here at the Temple.</title>
		<link>http://wickedpxy.com/archives/59</link>
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		<pubDate>Sun, 24 May 2009 20:38:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>KrisEllen</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Body Awareness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Couples]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Goddess Sacred Spot]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Healing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Holistic Healing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Male Sacred Spot]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Miscellaneous]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Professional Sensualist]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ritual]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sacred Sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sex Coach]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sexual Mystic]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tantra]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Touch]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Travel]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[classes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[donation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[new]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[offering of support]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sacred]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sessions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spritual]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Greetings Friends,
There are a number of new evolutionary steps going into practice here at the Temple.
Forthwith the &#8220;donation&#8221; will be known as the &#8220;offering of support&#8221;.  All offerings are to be placed in the offering bowl prior to the conclusion of our time together. There will be no discussion of the offering during the session. [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Greetings Friends,</p>
<p>There are a number of new evolutionary steps going into practice here at the Temple.</p>
<p>Forthwith the &#8220;donation&#8221; will be known as the &#8220;offering of support&#8221;.  All offerings are to be placed in the offering bowl prior to the conclusion of our time together. There will be no discussion of the offering during the session. It is not negotiable or refundable.</p>
<p>Your offering of support is what nourishes the growth and life of the Temple. As this is my spiritual path I am honored to share with you my ministry, my calling and my passion.</p>
<p>There will be a Prostate Health and Awareness class I am putting together for all men over 35 and the people who love them.  As well as a Breast Health class  presented in the next few months.</p>
<p>If you would like class updates please share with me your contact information so that I may let you know as events unfold.</p>
<p>Blessings on your journey.</p>
<p>KrisEllen</p>
<p>In love,</p>
<p>Kris Ellen</p>
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		<title>Healing sensual massage for women</title>
		<link>http://wickedpxy.com/archives/58</link>
		<comments>http://wickedpxy.com/archives/58#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 12 May 2009 23:22:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>KrisEllen</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Body Awareness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Goddess Sacred Spot]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Healing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Holistic Healing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Professional Sensualist]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sex Coach]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tantra]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Touch]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[massage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sessions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[women's sensual massage]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[ Here is an article I&#8217;d like to share with all the women thinking about manifesting their own healing. Forwarding from Philadelphia magazine, May 2009.
Sex: Very Desperate Housewives (I so dislike this title!) *To distort the beautiful sharing bodywork can be and write a titillating headline. Ahh!*(my comments, not the article)
A man willing to pay for [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p> Here is an article I&#8217;d like to share with all the women thinking about manifesting their own healing. Forwarding from Philadelphia magazine, May 2009.</p>
<p>Sex: Very Desperate Housewives (I so dislike this title!) *To distort the beautiful sharing bodywork can be and write a titillating headline. Ahh!*(my comments, not the article)</p>
<p>A man willing to pay for sex in the city can find it easily. But for a woman looking to buy erotic pleasure, it’s not so simple. Then our writer found Brian, who will come to your home to deliver a certain sort of massage<br />
By Loren Hunt<br />
Page 1 of 4<br />
Betty [Client names and identifying characteristics have been changed.] lit all the candles because the electricity had gone out due to a thunderstorm raging through the Delaware Valley, not because she expected the massage to be particularly romantic. She’d found the massage therapist online, and scheduled the appointment for a night when she knew she’d be alone, with no kids or husband to distract her from this simple bought pleasure that, at 46, she was just starting to feel she deserved. Betty didn’t realize exactly how pleasurable the experience would be. When Brian showed up at her door with his massage table and waited for her to take her clothes off in the other room, it was all business. Betty was so self-conscious about her body at first that she almost didn’t want to step out into the living room without clothes on. She was the first to admit she was no supermodel, no size two or four or six or any of those trim little numbers that women are always striving to diminish themselves into. But she reminded herself that Brian was a professional and surely had seen worse. And what this whole thing was about was how badly she needed to be touched, a need that had lately begun to overrule all self-consciousness, all fear, all propriety. When Brian began to massage her, whispering in her ear, “It’s all about you,” Betty’s enjoyment must have been obvious. “I have another website,” he told her. “I offer a full body massage, where every part of your body is touched, with a full release.” Same price; a hundred bucks. Was she interested? The answer was yes, oh God, yes.</p>
<p>I first stumbled across Brian’s ad buried in the something-for-everyone circus of Craigslist while researching the options available to women for erotic pleasure of the purchased variety. When men want sexual gratification, they don’t have to look very hard to find it in Philadelphia, in almost any price range. What I was looking for was an equivalent just as readily available to women. I wasn’t expecting to find much. As I clicked around on Craigslist, though, I realized I really wanted to. Not so much for myself right now. I was thinking of myself all alone at 60, or married to a husband who was impotent or uninterested, or me on a business trip to some lonely town, or in any number of situations where it would just be more practical to pay someone to get the job done than to go out and find it. As I’d suspected, there wasn’t much out there that fit my basic criterion: It had to be easier and no less dubiously safe than anything I could arrange for myself at the local bar.</p>
<p>PERHAPS SAYING THERE wasn’t much out there is unfair. Rather, there wasn’t much that sounded like something I might do, regardless of how badly I was craving touch or company. Sure, there was the guy with the boa constrictor draped around his bare shoulders, whose typo-ridden ad offered cheap massages for the ladies. He actually seemed like one of the better options, because at least he was charging. Most of the other ads offering to service women were amateur men seeking sex, in the same way men seek sex in practically every other section of Craigslist. But these ads almost invariably used “massage” as a code word. I looked for other possible codes, such as “pool boy” or, grasping at straws, “private car washer,” but no dice. There was a lot of jabber about “tantra,” an Eastern practice that incorporates orgasm into its mostly spiritual course of study. Brian’s ad was different. What he was proposing sounded just like an ordinary massage. When you followed the ad to his website, Pleasinghandsmassage.com, however, it became clear: Brian markets himself as a legitimate, professional massage therapist who happens to massage everything. Specifically, everything on women. The website is no-nonsense, light on the flowery promises, and heavy on testimonials that include the e-mail addresses of his most satisfied clients. Brian ranges far and wide from his Jersey home to serve clients in the Philadelphia area — he travels with his folding massage table — and points beyond. In my mind, the distinction between this website and the other advertisements I’ve looked at is self-evident: This is something women would do.</p>
<p>Despite the close quarters at the counter of the Dutch Eating Place at Reading Terminal Market, Brian of Pleasing Hands Massage is unflinching about explicitly discussing the nature of his business. I can sense the ears of everyone around us perking up as I struggle through all the possible polite euphemisms for what makes Brian’s massages different from those available at a spa or gym: “full release,” “happy ending,” “complete full-body massage,” and his own “pleasing hands.” Brian, being in the business of making women feel comfortable in situations that could very quickly turn uncomfortable, patiently matches my euphemisms until I get over myself and come out with it: Genital massage. Clitoris. Orgasm.</p>
<p>“There are any number of reasons why my clients come to me,” Brian tells me. “Which is to say that there are any number of reasons why someone would feel the need to be touched. I work with sexual abuse survivors. I’ve served as sort of swinger training wheels for couples who are experimenting with the idea of opening their relationship. I’ve been the entertainment for girls’ weekends at the beach. I’ve helped some achieve their goal of G-spot ejaculation. I’ve worked on women whose husbands were impotent … pretty much you name it.” Brian doesn’t discriminate, as long as a prospective client is at least 18. His clients sometimes ask him whether he finds giving full-release massages arousing. “I can get aroused,” Brian says. “I’ve gotten aroused — but I’m there for the person I’m working on, not my needs.”</p>
<p>age 3 of 4<br />
LAINE, A SPUNKY 50-year-old manager of a suburban hair salon, says she was almost too nervous about having a strange man in her house to book her massage with Brian. Curiosity got the better of her. “When I opened the door and saw him, though, I trusted him completely. There was this big bodybuilder guy in a t-shirt that said ‘Massage Therapist,’ filling up the whole doorway. It sounds silly, but he looked like such a nice man.” Brian, 39 years old, is enormous in all directions, the kind of big man that even other big men would not want to anger, buzzed bald and dressed simply in shorts and a t-shirt. His voice is mild and friendly, and he’s engaged to a woman in secretarial temp work who’s interested in becoming a massage therapist. Brian’s the sort of archetypal bruiser-turned-teddy-bear that women trust instinctively.</p>
<p>I had originally intended to book a massage with Brian myself and write about the experience. The legality seemed questionable, though, in that hair-splitting, ambiguous way that would probably be nothing to worry about if I weren’t planning to write about pleasing hands. Brian himself says the legality of his massages is “sort of in a gray area.” The police department’s take seems equally ambiguous. Sergeant Irvin Riley of the Philadelphia Vice Enforcement Unit told me: “A massage becomes prostitution when an extra sexual service is offered for extra money. If the massage costs the same amount with the sexual element as it does without it, that’s considered to be the business of two consenting adults.” The department’s public affairs division, however, took a harsher view, calling paid-for massages that become sexual a form of “prostitution.” Legal or not, I was too chicken to go through with it.</p>
<p>Not so Mary, a 47-year-old college administrator who hired Brian after her marriage of 22 years fell apart. “I wasn’t comfortable dating yet, but I thought that this was something I could do for myself,” she says. After a moment’s hesitation, she adds, “My husband never touched me down there. Every time I’ve had an orgasm, I did it for myself. It was hard to get used to the idea of anyone else even trying to give me one.” While Betty the candle-lighter is still married and intends to stay that way, her story is similar: “I got married for the wrong reasons, as a lot of women my age have. You get to a certain age, your friends start getting married, you meet someone who seems like he’d make a good husband … and then the rest of your life happens,” she tells me over the phone. She’s not complaining; her voice is matter-of-fact. “My husband is … ” she begins, and then pauses to think. “My husband is my husband. It’s not that he’s a bad person, but sex is very simple for him, and he can’t exactly grasp that I might want something more.” Brian’s clients naturally encompass other attitudes toward his service. For example, Molly, 48, says that for her, Brian has been a “natural adjunct to a very satisfying sexual relationship with my husband of almost 15 years, who is completely aware and supportive.”</p>
<p>BRIAN HAS BEEN a massage therapist for 20 years, starting the “Pleasing Hands” leg of his trade six years ago. One of his regular clients broached the subject of getting a “full-release” massage, he did it, and she then referred him to a friend of hers, which started the chain of word-of-mouth referrals that led Brian to advertise himself as a full-release massage therapist.</p>
<p>At first, he offered the full-release service to both men and women. “It wasn’t necessarily a gay thing with my male clients,” Brian says. “Many of them were men who had chronic pain and literally needed a strong man to work on their muscles. The orgasm release at the end is just finishing the job: release of tension, release of stress, release of pain, release of orgasm.”</p>
<p>Brian’s impulse to cater to both genders was touchingly democratic, but he acceded to his female clients’ desire that he work only on them. To a man, a full-release massage that actually gets out the kinks in his back is just one more way he can generally get whatever he wants. For a woman, it’s an act of liberation and courage whose exclusivity to women increases this exact appeal.</p>
<p>Brian sees anywhere between five and 15 massage clients a week, roughly 75 percent of them women who want to experience a full release. His competition is limited to one other practitioner Brian considers to be legitimate: a man named Frank who works in the area and uses the same Internet marketing resources as Brian (Craigslist, Sensualzen.com, Frank’s own website, Tantricserenity.com). Frank tends to play up the aspect of tantra in his copy, whereas Brian bypasses this to focus on sounding professional and nurturing.</p>
<p>Clients such as Betty, though, are still somewhat circumspect about their use of Brian’s services. “I don’t have a happy marriage,” she says, “but I want my home to be as peaceful and happy as possible for my children. It’s not a perfect world. Brian needs to be my secret. I don’t feel I’m cheating, but I can see how it would be seen that way.”</p>
<p>Betty’s right; it’s not a perfect world. When you speak to Brian’s clients, it’s easy to forget just how much could go wrong when a woman hires a man to address her sexual needs. Safety concerns aside, sexuality is still an inner minefield for many women. Even in an age in which sex-toy parties have replaced Tupperware nights, it’s still the few and the brave among women who hire a professional to help them get off. And it’s the even fewer and braver men who’ve stepped up to the task and figured out how to meet these women’s needs in a way that satisfies their female clients, as opposed to their own libidos.<br />
Originally published in Philadelphia magazine, May 2009</p>
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