“If you could see my inside, or whatever you want to name it, my spirit, that’s what I fear (that I am ruined). They kept trying to put me in the ground but I wasn’t ready. But if I had… if I had goodness, I lost it. If I had anything tender in me, I shot it dead! How could I write to you after what I’d done? What I’d seen? ” – W.P. Inman, Cold Mountain.

As a young woman, innocent of the experience of
warfare I have not physically been in such a position
to know what fighting in a combat situation (or the
training that asks: if you are ordered to kill another
human being, could you?) does to one’s soul. However
sharing intimacy with others who have experienced them
continues to open my reality to the challenges of
those experiences.

As a compassionate and empathic being, I feel
intensely the feelings of others. When I share time
with a client who has seen war, I am called to service
in many different ways.

Some of the conversations I hear inside a person
are… “How can I live my life again after what I have
done? After what I have seen, what I have been part
of? How do I live this life while often remembering
the past and what was? How can I forgive myself?”

One of the important ways I am called to service is
compassion. Being present with another human being.
Holding them as they are. Creating a safe and open
space where they can open up their deeply buried
feelings and let them out in a sacred container. A
container of love, embrace, and acceptance. We hold
our emotions in our bodies. If we have fears, anger,
sorrow (any emotion) and do not express it, and let it
out it will not go away. Pushing it under the
proverbial rug will give you a little breathing room,
but if these parts of us are not felt and expressed as
they are ment to be, they create disharmony and
eventually illness. (Carolyn Myss talks a lot about
this in Anatomy of the Spirit, her book)

Another important aspect of service can be the sharing
of tactile pleasures. Our skin is the largest organ of
our body. To reconnect with our pleasure confronts the
images of war trapped in our psychies . The feminine
receptivity and allowing of our physical and emotional
well being counteracts the aggression and
unquestioning strength that is needed for a chain of
command.

I honor the bravery and courage of those who have
served. I honor those who have chosen to seek their
healing and integration of their experiences. I am
honored to have shared some amazing sessions with
Veterans. Thank you for the courage to follow your
heart and continue the healing process.

Love,

Kris Ellen

Just some more information I found that might be
useful for those seeking answers to these kinds of
questions.

There are five ways that the war veterans I have
met are troubled by their wartime experiences. These
include:

Bodily pain from war wounds may persist long after
the medical team has done everything they can. Phantom
limb pain in amputees is just one of many examples of
the physical residues of pain that can continue for
years after the injury.

Terror from wartime experiences can be locked in
the subconscious mind and manifest as nightmares,
night terrors, excessive startle reactions, physical
pain and tension, generalized anxiety, severe
relationship problems, and phobic reactions.

Guilt over the things one did in wartime haunts
the survivors of every war. This guilt is especially
serious in every case I’ve seen from the Vietnam War
because of the moral ambiguity of that conflict. A
similar moral ambiguity is now surfacing in Iraq.

Physical illnesses caused by exposure to WMDs
(weapons of mass destruction) are a major problem for
veterans of modern wars.

Drug and alcohol addiction. Because of all the
pain, physical and emotional, suffered by veterans,
drug and alcohol addiction are a major epidemic among
America’s war veterans.

Healing is possible. Safe and lucid journey.

I love massage.

Both as a healing tool and a hedonistic delight. Many a time I have had the pleasure of Therapeutic massage, hands soothing out my tired and sore muscles. Flowing into a place of relaxation, allowing my mind to wonder as someones hands slide over my skin. These have been sensual in nature for me, however not sensual as most people use this term now. In the majority of body work the sexual and sensual are separated. Fears of abuse, power dynamics, as well as other social constructs.

I have taken massage classes, during which they warned away from any “sensitive” areas. Such as the genitals, nipples, or even the inner thigh. I have had massage practitioner’s stay away from my abdomen as they were warned away from it as a place that might be “off limits” for some clients.

There have been times where my body has been pudding on the table, where I just wished it was”allowed” for the massage practitioner to massage these other parts of my body that long for touch. My nipples, my pussy, my clit. “Ohh please” they shouted out, please share with us touch too. Please bring us to that place of physical pleasure and release. Please allow this body to flow into Orgasm, releasing pleasure chemicals and increasing relaxation.

Is this sexual, sensual, healing, pleasurable, touch?

What is sexual? These have been questions that Body workers have to ask themselves. Personal boundaries come into play. What are people comfortable with? If you come into a massage studio for a sore neck, and get your ankle worked on are you getting what you desire? What you asked for? What your body seeks? The massage field shys away from that which can be called sexual. And yet why? It is one of my favorite things to ponder.

Is not sexuality one of the main drives for human connection? As a whole being are not my genitals just as important as any other part of my body? In our over specific sexualized culture the Penis, and Pussy get the spotlight. Our consciousness has been focused there in a sexual way. What if your whole body gave you Orgasms? *They can!*

No answers here, only questions. A dialog that our world has within it. Follow your heart. Let there be love, and connection. Blessings to All.

I recently have been thinking about Gender (masculinity and femininity) in the context of practitioners. In my experience I find we choose those who we feel will best touch the part of ourselves that we are seeking to be addressed. Sometimes that looks like a male being, and sometimes a female “skin suit”.

Yes we are all unique, and bring our unique talents to the healing space. What I have been pondering recently is if one is truly in a healing space does it matter weather the physical skinsuit is one sex or another? The act of healing is one that is Self (as in our own Self) initiated. Our own choices,our allowing and embracing of the healing that is possible. So does it “matter” what container that comes to us from?

There can be a difference between desire (those who “turn us on”) and those who we find for a healing partner. Sexual desire can be one aspect, but if that is the only determining factor what other aspects such as skills, personality, wisdom are we leaving behind? As a holistic perspective Physical is one important aspect, but there is also Mental (what we think), and Soul (what our Spirit says).

Back to gender Ok, so as someone who plays with this energy, my gender can be a inspiration for people to come to see me, however as a healer I am not limited to just a female perspective. There are aspects of the masculine that can be called upon, as well as “undifferentiated” pure Energy. When that is called into play, the healing is the Intent and the physical presence of the person facilitating the energy transfer is a conduit.

So Intent is important. What is your desired intent? What are you calling into Being? What flavor of sharing will serve your healing best? Be aware of expectations, and limiting the experience. Listen to your heart, your body, and your instincts. They will guide you.

Safe and Lucid journey’s for all your healing paths.

I have been a passionate sensual being for a long
time. The drive to learn and share this beautiful
art has enraptured me. As I grow older in the world,
with more experience, I find that there are infinitely
varied possibilities for passion. For some it is a
passion for Nature (the Naturalist).
Others have a passion for expanding our minds and
experiences (the Teacher). All archetypes are touched
in some way by passion, and all of us are composed of many, many archetypes.

What is your passion? What touches your heart and
drives you to excel? Is it the beauty of a sunset?
The embrace of your child? Is it the laughter of an
audience? Is it the fire of a martial arts move,
meditation and a life lived for your art?

No matter what your passion looks like, tastes
like, feels like for you, you have one (or desire to
find it!). That sharing of passions is what brings
connection to our individual skin suits.
To share that uniqueness within created
as an experiece without for others to see and
be part of is a magnificent blessing!

Seems like the Divine to me (or God, the Universe,
whatever you are comfortable with).

Let us share our passions. Let us create a
passionate world of inclusion and embrace.
A world where it is not our differences, but
our similarities that touch our hearts and minds.

“Forsake inhibitions, pursue thy dreams!”

Blessings.